I spent many years at war with myself. My thoughts and my actions have contribute to many bad decisions. We hurt ourselves more than others. If something doesn’t seem right, it’s not. If there’s anything you have to question time & time again, let it go… Don’t be at war with yourself.
Becoming a better person shouldn’t involve just change, it should also involve growth. Healing means the damge never existed. It means the damage no longer control our lives.
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days like to attack me at once.
I’ll be so happy when this life storm ends and the sun starts shining again. Lately, I’ve been getting hit with so many of life’s issues. Everything from my work life, personal life, and even my ability to be creative is suffering. I know in life there are unexpected journeys that we have to take and take we we have to weather all the storms that come with them. But when you began to feel like you are existing and not living. Some major changes need to be made quickly. So, what do you do? You think back on the hardest times and remind yourself that it’s a bad moment and not a bad life.
At night when the stars light up my room
I sit by myself talking to the moon.
Trying to get to you
In hopes you’re on the other side talking to me too.
Do you ever hear me calling?
When was the last you had a date night with the most important person in the world. I’m talking about yourself. There are times where I’m busy with work, helping others, keeping tabs on my kids and doing other BS. That I tend to neglect myself. So, when I need a break for everything and everyone. I plan an evening with the most important person I know. Me. There are times you need to break away from people and things to keep your sanity. There is nothing wrong with seeing movie, having dinner at a new spot, or just sitting at home just chillin’. How can you help others if you are being pulled in so many directions.
I’m so proud of my niece from a sister from a another mister (LOL), after reading this piece she posted on her blog. She’s an awesome blogger just like her Uncle K. The link to her performance of this great poem is below.
“Lullabies Aren’t Heard in War Zones” – B. Chris Renee
Rock-a-bye baby. On the tree top, When the wind blows The cradle will rock. When the bough breaks, The cradle will fall, And down will come baby — Cradle and all.
I pray the lord his soul to keep.
He was a soldier in a war her didn’t even know he was fighting.
I didn’t know he’d enlisted.
We didn’t know he’d be dying
He was born around the time Chicago became “Chiraq”
It was a war, but with a draft such that
His birth certificate enlisted him undoubtedly
He and his friends huddled in trenches whispering sweet nothing for the stigma they were combatting
I equipped my son with books
But they had semi-automatics
And we can say the tears were nothing short of automatic
But then comes the “I’m sorry’s” and the “Everything will be okay’s” because he’s in a better place.
Because the best place is here with me because that’s the baby that I raised
I didn’t ask for him to be a martyr for the cause
A poster child for gun-laws
And who woulda thought my love for him didn’t make him bullet proof!
Could the ammunition really weigh more than the adoration I have for my baby boy
The nine months I carried you–separation anxiety because that was the longest I had been away from you and I just don’t know if I can handle a distance that transpires lifetimes
I was the — hand that rocked the cradle.
Many lullabies to get you to sleep
I pray the lord MY soul to keep
We were all rocking our babies when the cradles fell
No warning as if they were under the devil’s spell
But then those cradles turned to caskets
And they just weren’t meant to hold bodies that small.
I wanted my baby cradle and all
Outside these four walls sound like sonic booms and bops
And I’m just waiting for my alarm clock to wake me so I can rock my baby to sleep
So if the storm would stop overcasting the calm
I just wish my lullabies could be louder than the bombs
and down will come baby cradle and all
One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go. Whether it’s guilt, anger, love, loss or betrayl. Change is never easy. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go. We got learn to burn the past. Never look back. I always tell people…You can hold onto the memory without holding onto the pain. To quote “From the Book of Usher” just let it “Burn”.
Regardless of how “Bad” life gets, you weren’t born to be a quitter. You just got to keep trying…Quitting is not an option. ~ K