Sounds cold doesn’t it? But, it’s not. My Mom was victim of Crohns Disease. She spent so many years in & out of hospitals. So many times knocking on Death’s Door. One day while sitting at her bedside during an extra long hospital stay. I must have been looking really down. My Mom asked me what was wrong? I told her that I was tired of seeing her sick & I wonder how much more can she endure. I also told her that I don’t know what we would do of we lost her to this disease.
My Mom smile and said “When that day comes and it will. Don’t be sad. Be happy for me. Because, I will always live through you, your siblings, and my grandbabies. Besides, you all have my eyes and when you are missing me. Just look in mirror and you will see me looking back at you.”
My mom made me leave the hospital that night so I could go home and get some rest for my shift at Amoco the next day. She passed away later that night. So, while I sit here thinking about her on her 67th Birthday. I celebrate all things Yolanda Laverne Harris today. Drinking her favorite instant coffee, ate a Polish with extra mustard in her honor & looking at pictures of all my kids, nieces, & nephews. I can always say Mama was always right. Happy Birthday Mom! I love you & miss you so much.
I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.
Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.
So that’s my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.
Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, Do it.
Make your mistakes, next year and forever.
I spent many years at war with myself. My thoughts and my actions have contribute to many bad decisions. We hurt ourselves more than others. If something doesn’t seem right, it’s not. If there’s anything you have to question time & time again, let it go… Don’t be at war with yourself.
Becoming a better person shouldn’t involve just change, it should also involve growth. Healing means the damge never existed. It means the damage no longer control our lives.