When I was a kid Halloween was my second favorite holiday. (Xmas will always be number one.) But, over the the last couple of years Halloween has kinda lost it’s meaning. People used to dress as their favorite characters or movie stars. But, all I see now a bunch of half naked women prancing around Chicago trying to out dress each other with the least amount of clothing every year. Don’t get me wrong. There is nothing more I enjoy seeing than a chick with on pasties on her nipples and mini skirt telling me is her favorite porn star. (True story that I am saving for another blog entry.) So, I search the world wide web to look for reasons why trick or treating is better than sex. I’ll take a old ass snicker bar over a chick that is dress with little left to the imagination any fucking day. Feeling kinda old fashion about now.
10 Reasons Trick or Treating is Better Than Sex
10) You are guaranteed to get something in the sack.
9) If you get tired you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8) The uglier you are the easier it is to get some.
7) You don’t have to compliment the person who gives you some.
6) It’s okay if the person you’re with fantasizes you’re someone else, because you are.
5) 40 years from now you’ll still enjoy candy.
4) If you don’t like what you get you can go next door.
3) It doesn’t matter if the kids hear you.
2) Less guilt the morning after.
1) YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD!! Baby Baby!! (in my Biggie voice)